.UNGRATEFUL.

Listen honey, that’s what you’re not going to do.

Do you know how many times I’ve heard this story?

Hell, I’ve told this story.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Oh, you thought you were the only one. The only one with three children, and two baby daddies.

Ha, girl welcome to the club. I hate to be the one to extend the membership to you, but we live in a wicked world. Where we take it upon ourselves to live out the plans for our lives opposed to the life God has willed for us.

I know, I know. It’s hard, and it’s not fair.

I get it. I been there. I cried those same tears, I whined those same words. I hung my head just a little lower than yours though.

But guess what?

I ‘m still standing.

No, it has not been easy. Every day is a struggle; battling with letting go of the past, but trying not to forget the past so you won’t make the same mistakes; and then there’s those wounds that just won’t heal, and you can only pray time will work on them.

I get it!!! Trust me! I was you!

Three kids, back to back.

I was without work for months, but had two mouths to feed.

Oh girl, I had more bills than I had money.

Here’s the climax, I was crying everyday praying that God will give me the strength and the means to take care of myself and the two children I had, all the while another one was baking.

When I found out, I convinced myself that an abortion was my only option.

Until I realized I would be the most selfish person on this earth; aborting a mission God would equip me to accomplish provided I seek him, and stop doing me.

Girl, it has been a mission. One hell of a mission. But sometimes, it doesn’t seem like a mission; more like an awakening or a journey.

I am learning to embrace it; the good days, the bad days, the ugly days.

I am so happy that you almost went there; because I was being so ungrateful.

You’ve helped me to realize that these last couple bad days, weeks, months, years; are what the wise refer to as “growing pains”!

Yes, they do hurt, but without them we wouldn’t be who we are.

And you my friend, are beautiful, you are smart, you are kind, you are pure, you are fragile; almost delicate, but you’re solid, you’ve seen tough times first hand, you’ve gone without in real life, and look at you. He blessed you with one more year.

Stop complaining about the tough times, because they don’t last. They are preparing you for your victory days. They are coming, I feel them approaching. I know you do too.

So talk about it honey! You made it! One more year!

 

Last of my TwEnTiEs!

 

Thank you Heavenly Father!