I imagine I am her most bittersweet reflection. Where I illuminate her most profound and admired characteristics; I also carry the same sadness in my eyes that she tried to protect me from. However, life has a way of doing its own thing, when you’re doing your own thing. We often try to deflect our bad choices on the higher power; not being strong enough to take accountability for the part we played in concocting the hell of a life we are now living. It isn’t until being strong is your only option; because you have two sets of little eyes looking up at you, watching your every move, trusting that you are showing them the right way, while little flutters in your stomach remind you that there will be another one soon.
Tired of crying!
Tired of complaining!
Tired of being sad!
Tired of being hurt!
So I do what I already know she will tell me to do. I pray. I start to read my bible again. I find a devotion that speaks to my everyday problems. I start to feel a little lighter. I can sleep a little better at night, but there is always those thoughts in the back of my mind…
“How will I pay that bill this month?”
“I have two bills coming up at the same time, but I only have enough to pay one?”
“I need milk, pampers, and pull-ups.”
“How did this happen to me?”
Just a Message to Reflect On:
I imagine God saying with some of my children, “I’m only as Good as My last favor! Every time I prove I can be trusted to my daughter, she praises me for the moment and then the next time she’s in the wilderness she doesn’t reflect to Me, but rather to man/men.
I don’t understand how from her youth she memorized Proverbs 3:5-6 and she doesn’t stand on the commands of MY WORD.
I want her to come to the bold belief that she is to put her faith in me!My requirement is that she would praise Me at all times, the good, the bad and the indifferent and beseech Me to do what only I can do!”
“I imagine God telling you to look to Him, for He is an ever-present help in times of trouble!”
#unwaveringfaith
#boldbelief
I imagine!
Now I imagine, when she looks at me its with admiration for I am not living the life she imagined; but I am living life. I am doing what I have to do. I am taking care of my responsibilities. So yesterday, when I started complaining she had to remind me.
Thank you Mommy! ❤
.SheEmbracedLonely. 